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Is Fear Holding You Back From Living Your Best Life? A Lesson for 2018

Transference

noun trans·fer·ence \ tran(t)s-ˈfər-ən(t)s , ˈtran(t)s-(ˌ) \

  • :the redirection of feelings and desires and especially of those unconsciously retained from childhood toward a new object (such as a psychoanalyst conducting therapy)

An Opportunity of a Lifetime...

Have you ever come across individuals who spirits just seem displaced? I’ve recently encountered a young lady- let’s call her Amber, today who shared the amazing news of a new job offer she received overseas. I began to ask her profession, interested in what sparked her desire to apply in another country. She delightfully replied that she had been a Teacher for two years here in the states and that her contract was for two-three years if she accepted the position. ​ Now in my mind I was kicking, screaming, fist pumping as if she was my long time best friend! I was so happy for her success! Yet, I felt that her energy just seemed in disarray once we began to speak about the process of terminating her lease.

When Fear Steps In...

Suddenly, instead of focusing on the positive opportunity that laid in front of her, all of her financial disparity came to play in her mind instead. Her disposition was off and it startled me a bit. Before me was an exceptional, scholar of a black woman with an opportunity most don’t get in a lifetime, and her lack of enthusiasm just left me in awe! I couldn’t believe the amount of energy she spent reflecting on how taking this position could negatively affect her finances once she moved out versus spending positive energy on how her life was about to expand limitlessly. (If it’s not known I work in Property Management full-time.) Professionally, I didn’t want to go into too much detail about how I felt in regards to her current decision making process, but in that moment I knew exactly where her spirit was as she stood focused on finalizing the details on what would be a life-changing career move.

Don't Let Fear Hold You Back From Being Great!

In life we often take for granted the opportunities that are presented before us. Fear has been embedded so deep in our minds and spirits that the rare transitions that can help build the things we crave so desperately are unknowingly pushed to the side once fear steps in. It’s truly a shame to see the little girl inside of this young woman gleaming about the position, while her “adult-hood” problems (aka fear) have steered her away from why she chose the job in the first place. Two weeks later she came into the leasing office to cancel the Notice to Vacate she submitted stating that she had declined the job offer. Fear won Growing up I had a lot of empowering women around me, (Ìyánífá’s- yoruba priestesses) such as my aunt Nkechi Ajanaku, whom was a powerful and robust woman. She taught me a lot about character, grace, and assurance. With her energy mixed with my mother’s go-getter attitude, I developed a lot of insight as to what women can do and the type of attitude it takes to just get things done! However, dysfunction, childhood issues, and the reflections/desires of others can also hold us back from truly blossoming into the rulers we are meant to be. Even though fear won out in Amber's spirit, I wish her well in her future endeavors, and I pray that her choices going forward are well endowed. Making adventurous decisions comes with no guarantees or promises. Risk and reward are conjoined twins—and that’s why my favorite piece of advice needs translation but no disclaimers: Fortes fortuna juvat. ‘Fortune favors the brave,’ the ancient Roman dramatist Terrence declared. In other words, "There are many good reasons not to toss your life up in the air and see how it lands. Just don’t let fear be one of them.”― Mary South, Suggested Reading: The Cure for Anything Is Salt Water: How I Threw My Life Overboard and Found Happiness at Sea May we all find peace in the things that drive us, but also reap the benefits of these things comfortably. Ase’! ​

This article has been originally published on Black Girl's Create.

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